Sometimes its so hard to see the forest for the trees. Sometimes we're just getting up everyday and going through the motions. Sometimes we're just trying to have a Tim Gunn moment with life and, "Make it work". Sometimes to others what seems so otherwise perfect and amazing is really not all its cracked up to be.
Life is funny this way. No one ever really prepares us for the moments where everything comes crashing down around us. No one ever prepares us for the moments where you're just barely keeping your head above water and you're wondering if everyone else thinks that you're keeping it together. No one else prepares you for the moments where you have to face yourself in the mirror and make the difficult and hard decision on if it was really worth it: the heartache, the pain and the suffering. The fact of the matter is no one will ever truly be able to answer that question for you except for you.
People tell me I'm good at being strong. But I have to admit something, I am growing really fucking tired of being strong. I've been so emotional and raw lately that I've been having a hard time dealing with myself and my emotions. I'd rather laugh than cry at all the things happening in life. And holy hell, there are so many things to laugh at. They say laughter is good medicine, right? But in all seriousness: it's hard to stay positive, strong and focused all the time and I am learning to do these things for myself one day at time, just like everyone else. I'm not special nor am I perfect. I am still learning.
They say change will do you good and this first post of my brand new blog is well, heavy. But it's honest and I think that's a good start. I've known for awhile now that I needed to bring change into my life. While one chapter closes in my life, another chapter is opening. This chapter is the new blog, but there are other new (exciting) developments taking place in my life that are exciting and scary and wonderful. During this new chapter, I'm hoping to give myself the space, time and free-will to fuck up, ask questions, apply further self-discovery to myself, become more self-awareness and try to educate myself more. I want to be more vulnerable and I want to learn more. I think this is possible. Welcome to my new home Internet. I hope you enjoy this new chapter!